HA. That’s beginning to sound like the biggest joke ever.

The winter tire removal deadline got extended here until April 30. I still was ready to get mine off so I went yesterday.

No big deal, right?

Saturday it was almost 80. Sunny. GORGEOUS. I was down at the lake with my brother’s family wearing summer clothes. It was awesome.

So, yesterday I dropped my car off at the shop in the rain. When I went to pick it up it was still raining. When I pulled out of the driveway and looked through the windshield I saw the first white flake of the day fall. Yes, that would be a SNOWflake. It only started coming down harder after that. Can you believe it? I woke up this morning to WHITE on my gorgeous GREEN grass.

Sigh.

Winter is NOT forever…

I’m tired, and I don’t feel right.

So, three weeks ago I had the news of being diabetic thrust upon me.  I admit I probably didn’t ask enough questions but I also wasn’t given enough information when I received the news to make me “get it”.  I’m assuming my levels weren’t high enough to cause a major panic (in most people) but I don’t even know what the levels were to confirm that.  With my family history just hearing the word DIABETES caused a major panic and freak out session.

Well, I got through that.  I’ve been doing my best to take care of it but I’m at a loss.  I’m frustrated.  Here it is three weeks later and I’ve been eating right, I think, but now I’m not sure what’s going on.  My body feels funky.  Am I high or am I low or am I sick?  I DON’T KNOW!

I requested a free lifescan blood glucose monitor.  But, it hasn’t come yet.  I don’t even know for sure if it will come.  There’s no way to check.  Hopefully it will come with some test strips because I can’t afford to buy them.  And, hopefully my parents will be able to get me more test strips through some contacts they have because otherwise the free monitor isn’t going to do me any good.

I’m just frustrated.  I feel funky and I don’t know why.

I know, I’m whining.  But, I’m frustrated.  I’m irritated that my doctor laid this on me with no more information.  Yes, I know I should have asked more questions but give me something so I can figure this all out on my own after it sinks in.  Or, better yet, get to know me a bit before laying it on me and leaving me alone to process this all (if she knew me she’d know that the way she gave me the news isn’t going to work for me).

OK.  I’ve whined enough…but what I really want to do is cry.  So, maybe I’ll go do that.

Till later…

It’s April, snow should NOT be in the forecast.

No.

You don’t understand.

It’s A-P-R-I-L it’s not supposed to snow any more.

Period.

I should NOT have to drive home from home group barely able to see the highway because the snow is coming down so hard.

I repeat. IT’S APRIL.

At least last time I checked my calendar it was April.

It is April, right?

Did I fall asleep and miss Spring, Summer, AND Fall?

Note to the weather man: IT’S APRIL!!!! Please do us all a favor and move along. I’ll gladly welcome you back NEXT winter, but for now it’s SPRING. I want to see FLOWERS BLOOMING. The birds would like to have a place to play that doesn’t have that white stuff.

So long.

Farewell.

Adieu.

See you later.

It’s been a rough year for me.  I cut back a lot on work the end of last year to help my dad and sister following their surgeries.  I got by but just barely and was waiting for this year to get caught up again.  January was great, I was getting things done like I’d planned and everything was going great.

Then February hit.

I got sick and I couldn’t get over it.  I literally spent the better part of four weeks miserable.  I wasn’t able to work much and it’s really hurting right now.  Not to mention the fact that I have a TON of stuff to get caught up on.  Talk about stress.

Then last week I had to go to a follow-up appointment and got some unexpected and very unwelcome news.  It’s not the end of the world and after I got over the shock of hearing what the doctor said I’m going to hit this head-on and conquer it.  But, still that threw me for a loop for a few days.

I swear, 2008 was supposed to be a good year.  Unfortunately it hasn’t proven to be so yet.

Oh well….I know it’ll go up from here.  I’m convinced of it!

Till later…

than being sick is dealing with the aftereffects of being sick.

I spent the last nine days sick. It started with a high fever, it was consistently 102.6 and taking pills I was able to get it down to 101.7. Still too high for my liking. Unfortunately, the pills didn’t always work, and top that off with my brain not working too well which meant I had trouble remembering when I took the pills I was miserable. So, that’s how I spent three days. Then my fever broke. Woohoo. Only for it turn turn in to a cough. Not fun. The cough wasn’t too horrible other than my body hurt from it. I would have been fine there but it very quickly turned in to a stomach issue. Luckily the plumber came during this time and fixed my masterbath (FINALLY) so I had two toilets to acquaint myself with. And acquaint we did. By this last Friday I was so weak and dehydrated that I could barely lift my head from my pillow. That’s when I called for help.

Yes, this whole time I was alone. It stinks being sick but it double sucks being sick alone. Laying in bed, getting weaker by the minute and thinking you’re going to die alone in your apartment and no one will know for who knows how long. That’s how I felt.

But, health wise I’m on the mend now. Only to deal with the crap that follows whenever I get really sick….a bout of depression. It sucks. There’s no nice way to put it. I’m not functioning. My stomach isn’t back to normal so a lot of my usual remedies aren’t an option right now. I’m still weak so some of my other remedies aren’t an option either. So, right now I’m forcing myself to get up in the morning. I’m forcing myself to open the windows. And, I’m doing my best to force myself to work. And between all that, I need another nap because I’m really, REALLY tired.

This is going to be a crappy week, I can already tell. And you know what really sucks? My birthday is a week from today. What a way to spend my birthday. In the dumps.

Can I get off this ride they call life now?

Till later…

Ever want to tell someone something but know that if you said the words nothing would be accomplished other than you getting mad, or hurt, because they didn’t “get it”? Ever want to hit someone over the head but know that they wouldn’t feel it because they’re too self absorbed to know someone else is even there?

Well, I’m going to unload. Deal with it. Don’t ask me what it means. I know but I can’t explain. It just means. That’s it. (And, for the record, this isn’t what I wanted to say….I’m keeping it nice.)

So…

Dreams of sharin’ a life and a home.
Dreams of never ever bein’ alone again. Dreams.
Not even diamonds, just a little gold.
Someone there to hold her hand when she gets old.
Dreams, the kind you know will never end.
Forever lovers and forever friends.
Someone really there, to love and care, and share, Dreams.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you I am afraid

What is the meaning of life?
I’ve asked myself so many times
Is there a reason I’m here?
I wish someone would make it clear
‘Cause I’m living from day to day, feeling so far away
Maybe I’m not as sane as I thought
Keeping my eyes on You is something I’ve gotta do
Even when I don’t feel like it

You tell me you’re not the type
The kind of girl that they like
And your a little insecure about
How you look in their eyes.
Well fashion will change,
Trends come and go everyday,
But God only made one of you and
There’s nothing about you that’s plain

I won’t give up, I won’t give in
I’m ready for my life to start again
I won’t back down, I’ll stand my ground
The time is now to show the love I’ve found
I’ve got a reason to breathe, I’ve got the freedom to stand
The future is mine, I’ll give it all I can
To break down the walls that hold me in
It’s my reason to live

Till later…

and for the record…you suck, OK, even if you don’t know who you are