Today’s kind of a weird day for me. Today the transplant teams meets to determine a date for the surgery. I’m sort of anxious, not a bad anxious a good/excited anxious. But, I keep remembering the last transplant. This one is different and hopefully the after will be very different. But, I just need to dump some stuff from my brain…get it out, so here goes.
My dad was diabetic since just before I was born. About 13 (ETA oops, it was 14) years ago he started going through kidney failure which is a common problem for diabetics. The doctors offered the option of a kidney and pancreas transplant which would, if successful, mean he didn’t have to take insulin shots any more. At the time none of us “kids” were eligible to donate an organ to him because of our age and the thought of not having to watch his blood sugar was a huge draw. So, my dad chose that option and went on the list to receive a kidney and pancreas. The one downside — it had to come from a cadaver donor.
The list for kidneys is really long, the list for kidneys and pancreas’ is a little shorter so we began our wait. Unfortunately (or fortunately for my dad it ends up) my dad ended up in the ER at one point with extremely high blood sugar levels. When I say extremely high, by all medical “rules” he should have been dead, but he was awake and talking. I believe, but could be wrong, that this ended up moving his case up in priority level for him.
We were tied to only going a short distance from home in case we got “the call”. My dad had to wear a pager at all times and be reachable. This was back when pagers were somewhat popular (LOL) and I remember times sitting in church when someone else’s pager would go off and everyone in the whole congregation would turn to my dad holding their breath. It was a very trying time…lots of patience needed.
Luckily, the kidney failure never got so bad that he had to go on dialysis. (Knowing what I know now I’m even more grateful for that.) So, in April of 1995 (I think it was 1995 - was corrected, it was 1994)) we decided to go camping. My dad and I went up early on Friday. I towed our trailer up and we got the campsite set up. After we were all set-up we decided we better test the pager function so we went to a payphone and called it….it worked so we were OK.
My mom came up and some friends of ours showed up. My brother was there but I can’t remember if both my sisters were or just one. We had a great weekend camping then on Saturday afternoon the pager went off. I remember this very vividly. We were sitting at the table in our friend’s trailer and it started and my dad threw it on the table like it was going to bite him. It was exciting and scary at the same time. They called to hospital and were told they were testing things but wanted to make sure he was local and feeling good enough to undergo surgery if these organs were good. A few hours later we got the second call and left for home. Literally, we just left…our trailer and everything was left there and some friends packed it up and brought it home for us.
We went home got some stuff and headed to the hospital for the longest night ever. He went in to surgery Sunday morning. The surgery was long but went well. They wheeled him in to ICU after surgery and we got to see him. He looked good but there were tubes and machines everywhere. I wasn’t really expecting that. But, everything went well.
I spent every day he was in ICU at the hospital. I’d go up in the morning and stay as long as I could. My grandpa (my mom’s dad) came up and he went with me most days. I remember one day, I think the scariest day of my life, my grandpa and I went up to see him and when we got there they said I couldn’t go back. The doctor came out to talk to me and said my dad had slipped in to a coma and they didn’t know why. They were taking him for some tests. Shortly after that they wheeled him out right by me. Talk about SCARY. It was HORRIBLE. On top of that I was at the hospital by myself, well, Grandpa was there but he hated hospitals and started freaking out on me and left to go smoke outside. I had to figure out how to tell my mom so I called our pastor who went to the house to talk to her and get her up to the hospital.
My dad spent most of the six months after surgery going back and forth into and out of the hospital. It was an extremely trying time for all of us. I knew the hospital very well. I knew which days the cafeteria had the really good food (and I will say that Stanford Hospital cafeteria has great food!). I knew which specials I liked best. It was just part of life being at the hospital. We knew all the nurses by name. Could find many supplies on our own. It was an experience.
The last 12 years have been great. My dad’s been doing well until last year when he had that horrible reaction to some medication. That’s what triggered the second kidney failure and got us on this new path. This is his first time on dialysis and, quite frankly, it sucks. So, this experience has been different. This time he’s getting the organ from my sister so it will be planned. That will be nice because we’ll know when it’s happening and it won’t be sprung on us. This time, I pray, the experience will be much nicer because he isn’t going to have the problems afterwards that he had last time.
Many people ask me why I spend so much time at the hospital. You know what, I LIKE BEING THERE. My dad is comfortable with me there — meaning he sleeps and generally is more relaxed if I’m there. I am more in control of myself if I’m there. I actually LIKE being at the hospital. If I had my life to do over again, I’d go into social work and work in a hospital with patients. (Don’t get me wrong — I love my job and at this point in time would NEVER change what I do.) I don’t like my dad being in the hospital but when he’s there that’s where I want to be. I like knowing what’s going on and I like hearing it first hand rather than getting someone else’s interpretation (and we won’t go there on my opinion on that).
So, today, hopefully, we’ll get the call telling us when this surgery is scheduled for. Then I’ll figure out when I leave for CA. There I’ll so what I really enjoy doing…take care of my dad when he’s sick and help my sister while she recovers. For various reasons I was not an option for getting tested to donate my kidney to my dad. But you know what, I’m OK with that and, I think, so is he. This give me the chance to do what I do best…support the patient in the hospital.
Yeah, I know this was long — if you read it all…wow, I’m amazed. But, it was a post I needed to make for me. So…
till later…
I am a self-employed virtual bookkeeper. I work from my own office assisting companies around the nation with their bookkeeping needs. I love what I do and love the businesses I assist. I live in the beautiful Idaho Panhandle. I love to share tales of my life in the north.
