Hard to believe, isn’t it.  Last year was a whirlwind of good, bad and not so bad.  But I survived it and, honestly, at this point I’m just putting 2011 behind me.

I enjoy writing, I enjoy blogging but I haven’t been doing it lately.  I don’t like the fact that I haven’t been blogging or writing or keeping up with so many of my personal and business “things” that make me happy and feeling more satisfied with my life.  I’m going to change that.  Now.  So, my one goal for 2012 (I have actually set two — one personal and one business) is to be engaged in the things I enjoy.  Pretty broad goal, isn’t it.  If I were coaching me I’d slap my hand and say “MAKE IS MEASURABLE” but, I have a lot going on now, don’t really want to get in to all of that here but I have a lot going on and am working more detailed on those things.  So, there you have it.

Oh, and Panda and Jeeves are both doing great.  :)

It’s been so long since I’ve written on any of my blogs that I doubt anyone even reads them any more.  But, dang it, I just need to vent.

First, mom and dad moved here in early December.  That was a good thing, a very good thing.  Unfortunately, my dad ended up in the hospital right after that which was stressful, very stressful.  He was in the hospital basically all of December.  He got out and I got sick.  Knock me flat on my back and feeling like crap sick.  Did I mention this is December and January.  Sucks.

Well, now my baby is sick.  I know.  She’s a dog.  But, she’s MY dog and dang it she’s pretty important to me.  Heck, I have tears streaming down my face right now because I’m thinking about her, sitting on my couch and SHE’S NOT HERE. 

Usually when I’m sitting on the couch this is the face that’s staring back at me.  She’s usually sitting right at my feet, or if I’m lucky (because I do like my space) she’s laying on her blanket (the one my mom knitted for ME but she has claimed as her own) with one eye on me to make sure I’m still there.  Instead, I’m staring at that blanket where she was laying this morning with her adorable puppy dog eyes telling me that she wasn’t feeling good.

Since Panda came to live with me in August she’s has very quickly wrapped me around those adorable paws of hers.  When I say she’s part of my life I mean it.  If I’m going through a drive-thru I know which ones give the best dog treats.  I go to the bank that has the best dog treats in town.  She is with me all the time and I love it.

So, what’s going on.  Wednesday I worked from home hoping to get caught up on things since it’s been such a crappy month.  Of course, Panda was on her bed in my office doing her lazy thing.  I heard a noise and looked over and she had puked.  It was rather gross and definitely not a normal occurrence with her (she’s only thrown up one other time).  I wasn’t thrilled but it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Then on Thursday evening I was petting her and giving her a massage and I noticed that one of her folds was red which probably meant it was infected.  It’s something that is common in bulldogs but I felt horrible because my baby had a boo-b00.    Since this is the first time she’s had a skin infection since I’ve had her I didn’t have anything for it so I knew we’d need to go to the vet on Friday to get something for her skin.

Friday morning I woke up and she had (OK, this is where it might get kind of gross so, you’re warned) diarrhea.  Of course, it was in her bed (blech) but when I took her outside it was the nastiest runniest thing I’ve ever seen.  Not good so I called the vet so we could get her checked out.  Definitely not a fun morning.  But we got to the vet without any mishaps (ie accidents).

The vet was running late and they had a student vet there so we got the royal treatment.  A very thorough exam and highest praise for how wonderful my sweet baby is.  The student vet and our regular doctor both raved on how wonderful Panda was.  They both were amazed by how cooperative she was why they poked and prodded and pushed and examined her.  I was proud.   They did a stool sample to rule out a parasite and when that came back OK gave her some barium and let me bring her home.  The doctor explained that the barium coats the stomach kind of like mylanta so if everything was fine it would calm her stomach and come out and we’d be fine.  If not, the barium would allow them to see her digestive movement in xrays today.  (See Panda has a bad habit of eating things she shouldn’t, like stuffing from her toys, so if something was stuck we’d be able to see it this way.)  I brought her home, well, actually I brought her to my parents because I needed to run an errand and didn’t want her home alone.  My parents took her out every 20 minutes because she still had diarrhea and when I got her we did the same thing until she fell asleep at 9.  At one point she had some blood so I was worried but the vet office was closed so I just watched her.

She slept in my room that night so I could hear her better.  She slept great, I didn’t.  Normally, Panda wakes up between 8:30 and 9 and can’t wait to get out of her crate.  She does a lap around the house to make sure everything is OK then bounds to her spot to wait for me to serve her breakfast.  This morning I woke her up a little after 9 and had to coax her out of her crate.  She walked to the hall and sat down.  When I called her for breakfast she wasn’t excited at all.  But, she did eat. Then I took her out and nothing.  No diarrhea but NOTHING.  I brought her in and she just laid down.  The cat came in and nothing from Panda.  The cat was twitching his tail and everything and Panda just laid there.  Definitely NOT her.

We went out again and this time I had to drag her to get her to even walk on the grass.  That’s when the real fear set in.  So, I jumped in the shower and called the vet to let them know we’d be there soon.  I told the vet what was going on and she was concerned too so took her back for xrays, a rectal and abdomen exam.  The xrays came back fine.  Well, sort of fine.  There is no blockage and everything is moving fine but it also showed us a good picture of her spine and hips.  Her right hip looks great.  The left hip, not so much.  I’ve suspected this but today it was confirmed.  There are also some issues with her spine.  I can’t remember exactly what the spine problem is but her vertebrae aren’t they way they are supposed to be.  Made me feel like I’m not a complete loser because I’ve always thought it was uncomfortable for her to sit and this confirmed that I was right.  She’s been on glucosamine and the doctor said she seems to be comfortable so we’ll stick with that for now.  If she starts acting uncomfortable or in pain we’ll add an anti-inflammatory but for now we’re OK.

The doctor was very concerned, though, because Panda was very uncomfortable/irritated by the abdomen exam.  She said it was a complete change from her exam the day before and that was concerning to her.  She also said she was dehydrated.  She wanted to do some blood work but said Panda really need some fluids.  That’s when they told me she needed to spend the night there.  That’s when I lost it.  I cried.

Yes, I cried because my dog had to spend the night in the vet hospital.

This afternoon I brought Panda’s food for the night.  (She has a sensitive stomach and I didn’t want her to get an upset tummy from eating something new on top of all this.)  The vet had her blood work back and everything looked good.  When I came in Panda was very excited to see me.    She still hadn’t had a bowel movement but was being a real trooper with her IV in.

And now, I’m home.  Missing her terribly and just waiting for morning to come so I can hear how she’s doing.  Assuming she’s hydrated I’ll get to bring her home tomorrow.  Yes, I’m still crying.  After I left the vet I went to my parents house and stayed there most of the day because i didn’t want to come here.  I swear, I haven’t been in my house without my dog since I got her.

Honestly, I DON’T LIKE IT EITHER.

I just want my puppy back and I want her to be better.  I’m going to watch a movie but it will be so weird to not have her sitting with her head in my lap begging me to let her on the couch with me.  I’m sad because I can’t give in tonight and let her up to lay across my legs and snuggle in.  I won’t hear her noisy rumble when she falls asleep or be able to rub her silky ears.  I won’t get to wrestle her awake tonight and beg and plead with her to get up so she can go to bed so I can sleep.

Gosh, I just love that rolley-polley pumpkin butt.

Do you make goals for yourself?  I do, sometimes.  I’m not very good at goal-making but this past year on December 31 I decided to make some goals for the year.  I posted them on my blog, as a private page that only I could see.    And kind of left it at that.

This evening I went back and looked through some of my goals to see how far I’ve come.  I’m going to share a few of them here with you.

I gave myself 13 goals for the year.  Looking back now I realize that a few I achieved but in a different way.

For example, I had a goal of being more intentional on getting rid of the last bit of debt I had, instead I went further in debt by buying a house.  But, I’m OK that that particular goal got adjusted.

I also had a particular savings goal in mind and I’m not sure if I will achieve that exactly.  Part of that is because my expenses have gone up because of the house.  But, again, I’m actually OK with the fact that I’m behind on that goal.

I set the goal to be more active in my financial record keeping and budgeting and that I have achieved.  I also set a goal to go on at least one non-working vacation and I achieved that.  I set a goal of at least one long weekend away per quarter and so far I have achieved that.

One sort of lofty goal that I set for myself was to read 100 books this year.  I’m at 80 right now (I think) so I’m a little behind my schedule but I’m pretty confident I’ll achieve that goal as well.

It’s funny, though, I always tell people I mentor to put their goals where they can see them constantly and I didn’t do that.  I wonder how I would have done if I’d taken my own advice and kept my goals in my face all year.

Maybe I’ll try that in 2011.

Almost two months ago, July 26, 2010, my Grandma passed away.  The weeks following her death were filled with booking plane tickets and traveling to Southern California for her funeral and memorial service.  It was a bittersweet time.  It was the first time since my Grandpa’s funeral that the entire family was together.  So, for that it was nice.  Since returning I’ve been busy with work and supporting my mom while she and her sisters cleaned out the house they grew up in.

It wasn’t until two nights ago, as I was trying to get to sleep that it really hit me.  My Grandma is dead.  I know, that probably sounds harsh but it really just hit me fully and completely.

When my Mom and Aunts were cleaning out the house to prepare it to sell they gave everyone the opportunity to select items that they wanted to keep.  I have so many memories from that house that I had to be careful.  I remember drinking apple juice and 7-Up from Grandma’s champagne flutes — but I don’t drink champagne so I don’t really have a need for champagne flutes.  I remember the great fun we had as children making card trains around the entire house — but I don’t really need 10 more decks of cards to remind me of those memories.  I remember the great pride my Grandma had for her involvement in the city K-9 unit — but the autographed picture of “her” K-9 team won’t fit on any of my walls and, honestly, it doesn’t really “go” with my house.  I remember the hot dishes she’d have warm on the stove for us after driving in for our visit — but I don’t need another set of dishes.

But, you know the one thing that my Grandma always said was how important memories are.  And, my memories of the times and lessons taught by Grandma are more important that the dishes, or cards, or autographed pictures.

My memories of being six years old and watching the K-9 and talking police car at Grandma’s first dinner will never go away.  The memory of helping Grandma the day of “her” dinner when I was 30 and seeing her, at 80, ability to organize a community dinner to raise funds for “her” K-9 program can’t be beat. I don’t have any THING to remind me of my graduation trip with Grandma from California to eastern Montana to visit family but I have the memories.

But, I do have a few things of hers.  I have her china cabinet which was one of her first major new furniture purchases.  It was the cabinet that sat in the “formal” dining room where we had all our family holiday meals.  It was the cabinet that she stored her pictures and other important papers and where she kept special dishes.  It’s going to go in my dining room and will store my great-grandma’s crystal luncheon set and some other items that are special to me.

I also received an ocean picture that was painted by my great-grandma’s sister-in-law.  Grandma gave me this when I told her about buying my house because she wanted me to have something of hers to decorate my new home with.  I will also receive the picture that hung next to the china cabinet for as long as I can remember.

I will also be getting the wrapping paper that almost all my birthday presents for as long as I can remember were wrapped in.  I was surprised that she still had it, but excited to get it.  I’m also getting a couple pairs of shoes that were hers.  Both are about 40+ years old, but I remember sitting on Grandma’s bed with her one visit and she told me about the red pair and how they were so expensive when she bought them (about $30) but that she loved them.  (I also happen to like them and can’t wait to wear them.)

But, the important things I’m getting won’t sit in my house and I won’t be able to wear them.  What I really received from my Grandma is her legacy.  Her strength as a woman and her drive to make things happen.  Her great love of her community and her desire to help others.  Her dedication to her family and the importance of memories and traditions.

What hit me two nights ago, though, is how much I’ll miss her.  The past few years her hearing has been bad and she’s tired so easily and with me living so far away I didn’t get to see or talk to her that much.  But, still she was there.  But it hit me, she’s not there anymore and I miss her.

But, yes, I have the memories.

…the need to LEAVE.

I’ve had the travel bug this year.

Bad.

I guess in reality I haven’t traveled that much.  I went to Phoenix is April, but that was for work.  I went to San Diego in June for a family wedding and extended it for some vacation time.  I went to Los Angeles in August but that was for a funeral.  So, no, I haven’t traveled enough this year.

So I think I can plan some more trips.

I’m thinking DC in October.

I’m thinking the Florida Keys in March

I know I’ll be in Portland come May.

In the mean time, though, I think I need to go camping.  Wonder how the dog will do camping?  Although, considering how loud she’s snoring on her bed right now I don’t think anyone will want to go camping with me if they have to share a trailer with her.

Or, maybe I’ll go to Missoula for a weekend.

Or Canada.

Any ideas?  Anyone want to join me?

I guess I could stay home and do something on my house.

Hmm…..thinking, thinking, thinking…

So, Saturday morning I got up kind of early and headed to Kalispell to pick up Panda.  It was a LONG drive, seriously 200+ miles each way.  Not too bad but, long.

I met her previous family in a parking log and they said their good-byes.  Then I strapped her in to the car and we headed home.

The colorful pile is her turtle bed and special blanket.  So, the first question everyone asks is:  “how’d she do on the drive?”  So, I’ll tell you, she slept.  No joke, she slept the 3 1/2 hours it took us to get home.  I stopped at a rest-stop for her to go potty, but she didn’t need to.  We also ran into a problem with the travel dog bowl I bought for her.  So, we had to improvise.

After that stop we hit the road for the rest of  drive.  I had to stop somewhere to pick up a dog bed for her because I’d prefer if she slept on a comfy bed that is all hers rather than on my couch.  I found a super ugly (I’m sorry, but it’s ugly) but comfy looking tiger striped bed that I bought.  Of course, she LOVES it.  So, no matter how ugly I think it is she can have it.  Then we stopped at Petco hoping to see the lady who helped me pick out the stuff we’d need for the drive home but she was already gone for the day.  So, I bought a toothbrush (don’t laugh…the family who had her had started brushing her teeth so I’ll keep it up because brushing her teeth is a heck of a lot cheaper than dental work for rotten teeth).  She actually doesn’t mind getting her teeth brushed.

We got home, she and I explored the house with her on a leash, then I let her off the leash to check things out.  She seems to like the house.  Then, she met Jeeves.  That didn’t go over too well.  Jeeves isn’t so sure about a dog coming to invade his house.  Especially a dog that actually wants to greet him.  All was fine with that until Panda realized she could almost reach the window sill that Jeeves was taking refuge on.  Thus the great chase began and ended with one shattered glass and my dinner all over the floor.  The cat hid, the dog had to go to the laundry room so I could clean up the shattered glass (she wasn’t in trouble, I needed to keep her safe).  Jeeves decided to venture out again which resulted in another shattered bowl.  Yeah, I learned my lesson and have put things away for now.

So bedtime came and Panda wasn’t too sure about that.  She wandered the house and explored and made lots of noise all night.  I think she was nervous or anxious and didn’t know what to do.  I also learned that her back legs creak when she walks.

And, she snores.

Loud.

So, that cemented my decision to get her a crate.  I went yesterday to pick up the crate and brought it home.  Put the ugly dog bed (that she loves) in there.  She LOVES the crate.  She laid in it a lot yesterday and when it was bedtime I told her to go to bed and she walked right in and settled in for the night.  Not a peep out of her all night.

This morning I decided to bring her to work with me.  I wanted to give Jeeves a break at home and it’s hot so I didn’t want Panda stuck inside all day.  When I picked up the crate yesterday I also bought her another bed which I brought to the office.  Of course, she’d rather sleep on the floor than on the comfy bed I bought her (crazy dog).  So, now she’s laying on the floor behind me snoozing (luckily not snoring yet).

Brian came over last night, he wasn’t too impressed with how cute she is but she sure likes him.  She danced around and shared her nasty bone with him.  He even played with it with her.  Faye and Kyle came over this morning to meet her.  She loves both of them but Kyle isn’t so sure about her.  She just wanted to play with him but he just wasn’t so sure about that.  So, we’ll slowly work up to them playing together.  Kyle did like her, and she was super nice to him just excited to have a kid around.

So, there’s the shortened version (yeah, it’s the short version) of the weekend with Panda. 

So, since I don’t have enough that I’m doing right now I offered to dog-sit my parents dog (you know the dog that used to be mine that my dad adopted (or dognapped) from me a few years ago).  They put their house on the market and since they are driving up here next weekend with my sister and Rider I figured it would be a lot easier for them to bring Chloe up here then and be able to show their house without her around plus packing and moving would be easier.

So, here’s the problem, the dog is C-R-A-Z-Y, I have a cat and I’m not sure how either will do with the other.  Plus, the dog is C-R-A-Z-Y.  So, to keep the dog safe, me sane, and my house from getting destroyed by this (C-R-A-Z-Y) dog I am looking for a crate.  (Plus, I just think crates are good for dogs.)  Here’s where I need your help…anyone have any input on crates?

The dog is 8 inches tall and about 12 inches long.  So, I need some input on the right size crate for her.  Also, I’m not sure which type is best.  Chloe is C-R-A-Z-Y but she won’t chew or destroy the crate (honestly, despite my dad’s protests I really think she’ll like it) but I’m not sure which is the best choice.  Ideally I’d like to use this for a future dog that I hope to add to my family (assuming it’s the right size and assuming I find someone who can install a fence for less that the price I paid for my house).

So, with all that randomness, opinions please. 

I don’t have to think about how much I’m buying at the grocery store.  OK, I guess I kind of do because my fridge/freezer/cupboards are only so big.  But, in my apt I used to have to consider how heavy the bags were and how many bags there were becuse I had two flights of stairs to deal with between the car and my front door.  Here’…not so much.  There’s one step from the garage to the house and that’s it.  No running up and down stairs with bags or losing feeling in my arm because I tried carrying more than I should have.

So, there you have it.

So, anyone who knows me (and probably quite a few who don’t) know that my life has been almost completely consumed with buying a house since, oh, about February.  Well, I’ve been living in said house for ten days now and just have some random thoughts to share with you about being a homeowner.

So, here we go, randomness…

1. No matter how much you preplan where everything will go in a new house inevitably you will change something after you move in, unpack, and get things put away.  I’m sure I’m not completely abnormal in the fact that I rearranged the kitchen four times and moved the linen closet around twice in a matter of ten days.
2. Unless you custom design a house (and even then I doubt it would be perfect) something will not make sense.  For example…ten days and I’m still reaching for the kitchen light on the wall that it ISN’T and having to turn around and flip it on on the wall that it is on.  And don’t even get me started on the kitchen cabinets.
3. OK, speaking of kitchen cabinets, seriously, I know I’m not the only person who has dishes and glasses and other kitchen stuff.  Who ever thought of making cabinets that are so stinking narrow that you can barely fit things in?  I finally have the dishes and glasses in sensible places but that leaves the spices in the only available cupboard which is the one that isn’t wide enough for a spice rack so they are all one level.  No big deal EXCEPT that I always seem to need to empty the entire flippin’ shelf to get to the one jar I need.
4. Utilities.  Yes, I knew there would be more utilities in a house then in my apartment.  But seriously, can these people not work together a little bit?  I have to write once check to the sewer company, another check to a different company for garbage pick-up, another check to a completely separate company for water service, and another check to a fourth company for electricity, and let’s not forget the fifth company that I have to write a check to for gas.  Yeah, FIVE companies and that’s not even talking about cable or internet service.  Seriously?  FIVE different companies?  I think they are in cahoots with the postal service or the check printing companies or something.
5. Noise. I lived in an apartment and had the most annoying LOUD neighbors but OMG I never realized how noisy a house is. Seriously this thing hums and rumbled and moans louder than having the three kids around WITH frends over. What the heck…quiet would be nice.

Seriously, though, it may sound like I’m complaining, I’m not.  (Well, maybe I am but only because I have to find something to complain about and this really is a pretty amazing thing being in this house and knowing that it’s MINE.)

After ten days I couldn’t be happier.  Well, if someone would help me figure out where to hang the stuff that is supposed to go on my walls but is still sitting in boxes I might be a little happier.  And well, if someone wanted to help me figure out a layout and design option for my office/craft room I’d probably be a lot happier.  Oh, and if someone wanted to help me figure out what the heck to do with the beastly flower bed that is really just a weed patch I know I’d be a lot happier.  But, I do love my house.  I love coming our the bend each night and seeing my driveway.  I love pushing the garage door opening and knowing it’s the door to MY garage opening.  I love putting my car in the garage and knowing that I’m home.  (Heck, I really love parking in the middle of the garage and knowing that I can take up as much of it as I want LOL.)

So, there’s some random thoughts from a homeowner. 

So, it took lots of work and even more patience but I’m in my new house.    If you click on the picture below you can view a bunch of pictures I’ve taken since I received the keys.

As of this morning all the rooms are livable.  I still need to figure out a desk solution for the office/craft room but each room looks like something I’m OK with showing people.  I don’t have anything up on the walls, though (with the exception of one picture that I knew exactly where it was going).

Enjoy!